The First Prank of Remus Lupin
by Padfoot2007
Summary: Remus is growing quite weary of always being outshined by Sirius and James's pranking abilities. So, he comes up with his own prank to try and outdo the masters, and prove his worth as a Marauder.


For three years, Remus had watched his friends Sirius and James play countless pranks on unsuspecting students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Their pranks were always classic and everyone thought that they were hilarious. All of the students were amazed by the duo's shenanigans and admired them for their creativity. Even the teachers were in awe of the pair, who were known throughout the school as Pranksters-in-Chief. No one seemed to have the desire to try and outdo the masters. Except for Remus John Lupin, of course.

Yes, for the past three years, Remus was growing green with envy while observing the pranking antics of his two best friends. He wanted to be the one who received all of the praise for a well executed prank. Sure, having the best grades in the class was fabulous and all, but Remus found himself wanting praise for something outside of the academic world. He was becoming weary of being the smart one of the group. For once, Remus wanted to be the funny one.

So, without further ado, Remus began putting his plan into action. For the next few days, Remus spent several hours in the library to look for any book that might help him. When he found a couple of books that he thought might be useful, Remus poured over them until his hazel eyes began to glaze over from the monotony. Unfortunately, not one of these volumes actually had any useful information inside of them. The books only held jokes, not pranks, all of which were quite cringe worthy. They were the sort of thing his Uncle Robert might say if he was trying to make someone laugh. Something that one would only laugh at to not hurt someone else's feelings.

Not the type to be discouraged so easily, Remus went on to Plan B. He was going to study the past pranks pulled by his friends and see if there was any way of improving upon their ideas. Leaning back in his chair, Remus allowed his mind to wander as he thought about some of Sirius and James's past escapades. There was the fire juggling incident with Larry MacDougal during their first year; the never-ending pimple fiasco with Brent Hartford that had resulted in a massive epidemic of pimples for the rest of Ravenclaw House during first year; Delilah Montrose sprouting coarse black hair from her chin and eyebrows during their first year. Shenanigans from their second year included Troy Avery burping up foul smelling flowers, Donna Johnston chirping like a canary while dropping bird eggs on people's heads, and Francis Meyer prancing around the castle as a ballerina. And who could forget all of the wonderful pranks that Sirius and James had accomplished this year so far. It was enough to make Remus believe that he would never be able to compete with what they've already done.

The legs of the chair that Remus was seated in were almost all of the way off of the ground, but Remus was still leaning back on them without a care. He was too deep in thought to realize that the chair legs could not possibly hold for too much longer in this position, which he soon discovered less than a minutes later when he found himself on the hardwood floor below his seat. Some of the other students who were seated around him began to snicker, earning themselves a reproaching look from Madame Pince, the librarian. A rosy red flush crept upon Remus's face as he emerged from the floor with his sandy brown hair slightly disheveled. That had certainly never happened before, but then again, he'd never been that deep in thought about anything. Usually, he was very aware of his surroundings.

Gathering up his bookbag, Remus decided that he would continue his quest another day. His face burned with humiliation as he made his way out of the library. He had never felt so embarrassed in his whole life. Doing stupid things such as falling out of chairs was not something that Remus did purposefully. That was something that someone like Frank Longbottom would do. Now, he -Remus- was the klutz.

As Remus turned to face the second floor staircase, his path was blocked by Lucius Malfoy, a seventh year Slytherin and known supporter of the Dark Arts. Being a third year, Remus was slightly smaller than the pale blonde boy who stood in front of him, but he was in no way terrified of the seventh year otherwise. Even when Lucius fixed him with a glare that would scare the daylights out of a less courageous man, Remus did not back down.

"Do watch where you are going, Lupin," sneered Lucius.

"I was until you blocked my path," retorted Lupin, folding his arms across his chest.

"You dare speak to me like that?" hissed a flabbergasted Lucius. "Me, a pureblood, and you, common trash."

"You and I have different definitions of trash, I'm afraid."

Lucius let out a growl and grabbed Remus by the collar of his shirt. By now, people were surrounding them from both sides as they were attempting to walk around them. They were even shouting at the pair to step aside to let them pass, something that Lucius wasn't about to let them do.

"Filth, don't you see that I am in the midst of teaching one of your own a lesson?" Lucius inquired of the crowd. "You will stay and be my audience as I teach this vermin about what happens when he messes with a member of the Malfoy family."

While Lucius was speaking to the crowd of onlookers, Remus had extracted his wand from the folds of his robe. As Lucius turned to face him again, Remus did some quick thinking and performed the first set of spells that came to mind. Before he knew it, Remus was freed from Lucius's clutches and joined in the crowd's laughter at Lucius's predicament. Lucius was covered head to toe in slime with the accompaniment of multi-colored feathers embedded in the slime. To top it off, the slime projected a foul aroma of rotting fish from Lucius's slender body. At Lucius's malevolent look, a broad grin crept upon Remus's lips. People all around him were congratulating Remus for a spectacular show. Everyone seemed to believe that his prank was absolutely brilliant, and that made Remus very happy indeed. He now knew how Sirius and James felt after pulling off a stupendous prank, and it was a very addictive feeling nonetheless. One that he was sure would land him in loads of trouble in the future, but be well worth it.


End file.
